You know You're addicted to the net if


You wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act.
Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll top to bottom.
Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8, 33.6, ISDN, cable box, T1, T3...
Your night dreams are in HTML.
You find yourself typing 'com' after every period when using a word processor.com
When you turn off your modem, you get this awful empty feeling, like you've just pulled the plug on a loved one.
You refer to going to the bathroom as "downloading."
You start introducing yourself as 'Jim@I-I-Net.net.au'
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
Your dog has its own home page.
You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos.
Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
You name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and Pegasus.
You laugh at people with 14400 baud modems.
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
Your virtual girlfriend finds a new net sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.
Your wife's new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."
You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless.
ou get a tatoo that says 'This body best viewed with Internet Explorer 3.0 or better'.
You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP because you never log off.
The last girl you picked up was only a JPEG.
You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind, the perfect soundtrack for surfing the net.
Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL" out loud.
You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.
You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out".
If you are male and see a female in the "Real" world that you wish to meet, your first thought is to IM her.
If you are female and you see a male in the "Real" world that you wish to meet, your first thought is that you wish he'd IM you.
You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can call PizzaHut.
When looking at signs, you wonder why they are always "yelling" at you.
You go up to people you are attracted to "in real life" and ask them for their GIF.
Your spouse now complains of you moving your fingers in your sleep instead of talking.
You turn down the lights & close the blinds so people won't know you're on-line again.
You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to your own.
You use your screen names so much that you have to look at your own profile to see who you are.
You marry your cyberboyfriend/girlfriend and you both sit at your own computers & chat to each other every night from across the room.
You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time.
Your significant other kisses your neck while you're chatting & you think "uh oh, cyber sex perv".
Your buddy list has over 100 people on it.
You have to inject no-doze into your butt to keep it awake.
You end sentences with 3 (or more) periods while writing letters by hand.
Your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had.
You get up at 2 am to go to the bathroom but turn on the computer instead.
Your voicemail/answering machine message is "BRB, leave your IM or ICQ-UIN & I will TTYL".
You got your psychiatrist addicted to the Internet too & are now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at his office.
You want to be buried with your computer when it dies or vice versa.
You double click your TV remote.
You have to be pried from your computer by the "Jaws of Life".
You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.
You understand the humor in all of this.

Back to the other jokes.